Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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