so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
