I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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