Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
