My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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