covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you would pick up someone in the library
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
