Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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