that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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