He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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