You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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