Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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