so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize