dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
