Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
