rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
