i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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