fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
