i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
