I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We are two peas in an std pod
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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