i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
