so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
