The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
