I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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