I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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