You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
