she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
