theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wow bdsm is so cute
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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