Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
