drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
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went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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