he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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