$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
