You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
