Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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