So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
