No stitches, just platelets and will power
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
