Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
