If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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