I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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