Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
