Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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