You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
