Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
