I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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