Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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