Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
