My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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