so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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