When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The adults are the big ones right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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