i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
