32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
