Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
