Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
