she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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