How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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