I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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