we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
