Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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