I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
