I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
