im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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