I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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