meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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