If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
