She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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